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No doubt blogging and life in general can be quite stressful. I was recently thinking back to when I was a raving lunatic and took everything personal, since then I had to drastically reduce sadly my expectations on bloggers and their logical to much of what they do I have since found peace with the whole thing. They are not going to change and YOU are not going to change them.
I think of the Serenity Prayer Accept the things you can’ t change and the courage to change the things you can and that is VITAL to stressfree blogging. After a long wasted effort I realized that I can’t change people and that many bloggers will stay selfish and never say Thanks no matter what you do by accepting that it no longer becomes an issue and they can do whatever they think is best.
The Courage to change the things you can is the very heart of the matter in that you CAN CHANGE yourself.
I have worked hard to change my attitudes and reactions to when I used to just go off the chain.
Recently I had a blogger come by and say some nonsense about bloggerluv being a clique I was able to see exactly why people wouldn’t listen to me in the past, I would say it all crazy and wasn’t interested in what they had to say. I watched as the person further isolated themselves by their OWN doing and noticed that is exactly what I USED TO DO.
As far as day to day stress I like to take walks although where I live that can often be stressful because it’s not really safe where I live. I like to dream ahead and think that all my hard work and trying to make GOOD decisions today will pay off tomorrow.
This month I have not drank any alcohol in one year. I used to use alcohol as a way to escape the stress and actually think that all the disappointments I faced online have made me stronger and smarter.
Expectations and trying to understand why your fellow bloggers often do what they do can only lead to some miserable days and STRESS.
Sadly I found keeping my expectations LOW works and I can focus on more productive things. If you don’t put high or to many expectations on other bloggers you both will be free to do what works best for you.
Peace of mind and FOCUS is what is important to successful blogging. God knows I wasted so much time and see many people doing so today but I don’t have to chase them I can let everyone do their thing and my life is less stressful for sure 
Have you ever been in the expectations trap ?
What do you do to deal with stress ?
Thanks
Happy Weekend everyone
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Hi John,
You make excellent points about accepting that some people just aren’t coachable. When we understand that people don’t see the world the same way we do, we can finally realize that it’s not our job to make them fit our definitions – based on our own worldview.
Indeed, I created an expectations trap when I joined a MLM. I spun a nebulous dream and tried to sell it to people whose idea of financial security is a safe deposit box at a bank. After beating my head against a wall for a year, I realized two things:
1. The people in my upline were horrible teachers
2. The people I was trying to recruit had more sense than I did
In hindsight, it’s obvious that I, not they, needed to change. While I don’t subscribe to your theory of lowered expectations, I do believe that it is important to match your energy to the level being put out by those around you. If you are dealing with a high-energy, positive person, you will want to match that energy, as it brings out the best in you. On the other hand, if you put out your own sizzle and it is not reflected appropriately, turn down the juice and save it for someone else.
This method works so well that I believe my upline corrupted it for recruiting purposes. You have heard the phrase, “Some will, some won’t, so what? Next!”
As slogans go, it’s catchy, pithy and helpful to hesitant wannabes.
As business philosophy goes, it sucks. Yet, that was the trap into which I had fallen and it was the reason my friends, relatives and three-foot rule strangers looked at me like, “Don’t make me call 911 on you!”
So, yeah, I get what you mean. I did learn to rehumanize my networking efforts. It is less stressful, you are right
Cheers,
Mitch
.-= Mitchell Allen´s last blog ..Stressful Blogging 101 =-.
Thanks for including my banner.
As far as Bloggerluv being a clique, I wouldn’t call it that. BloggerLuv was the best thing that happened to be as a new blogger. To discover such a community and be accepted into so easily is amazing. Why, when I joined my fraternity I had to go through all types of stuff but you guys just let me in! Didn’t even check my background or nothing. And I have been inviting everyone I know that has been thinking about blogging to join it. Whether or not they join, that’s up to them.
Stress… I wrote up a post about it. I try not to get stressed out, but my expectations are high. High in general. I have high expectations for where I want my life to go, high expectations for B&P. I dream big and I try to do bigger.
Most of my life has been a struggle, so it’s about time things start going right. Highly optimistic..
.-= Wayne Howard´s last blog ..The Blogger’s Atlas =-.
There will always be negative people in the world who will do their best to bring others down. If they want to change, show them ways in which they can try to do so, but if they don’t want to change, then walk away. It’s much more important that you maintain your positive energy and just let it flow. That energy and that happiness will reach out and touch others. It doesn’t need to be consciously directed or given. Just let it flow naturally from you, and it will naturally go where it will. Others will feel it and be influenced by it. You don’t have to expend any energy or time or worry about it. Once you stop worrying about it, and just let it flow naturally, much of the stress will just float away. Try it sometime. Have a great weekend!
.-= DazzlinDonna@eBusiness Coach´s last blog ..Oh Stop Being Such A FussyPants =-.
Blogger Luv a clique…….hahahhahaha that is really funny.
Thanks for the laugh, keep up the good work!
John, I happy to hear about the progress you’ve made and keeping stress at bay. Personally, blogging is my stress reliever. I’m an Air Traffic Controller by profession, and this is perhaps the most stressful job. All my online activities are kind of therapeutic for me – blogging, website designning, SEO stuff, social media, etc. Here is where I get to adjust my sail, since I cannot change the wind. Congratulations to you, and keep up the good work.
.-= Wayne Farley@Freelance Website Designer´s last blog ..Safety! But- at What Cost =-.
The first step in changing someone’s mind is respect. I was hoping you’d understand my stance and where I was coming from. People’s opinions can change though John.
Perhaps I was too quick to judge. For that I do apologize.
By the way: Congrats on the 1 year of being alcohol free.
.-= Rose´s last blog ..Burn the Barbie =-.
@Rose: Thank you
My pleasure.
For me the best remedy for stress is going out in the nature, or on a trip, or simply having a good laugh with friends. I try to enjoy what I have and not think about what I don’t.
Great insight and nice way of putting it. I won’t congrat you until your actual yr. I wouldn’t want to jinx ya and you know they don’t front time in the program anyway…
I will say the first yr is a huge accomplishment so the time you have is remarkable. Remember today is all you really have tho.. much love
.-= Lee´s last blog ..50 Things About Me You Didnt Know =-.
What I have learned of my 22 years of living is you can’t ALWAYS please people. No matter how much you try. Also, we can’t change people either as you mentioned. People will grow to like you or not. Life is too short to worry about what others think about you. I believe the believe people who are destined for greatness are the ones who focus more on being productive and not wasting their time on trying to prove themselves to people. This was interesting to read. I know I love reading, writing poetry, and going by the water helps me calm down and not get so stressed out. I will definitely be visiting your blog again!
Congrats on one year! That is a huge accomplishment and has to make you feel fantastic and proud.
I agree with Donna..let the positive energy flow. I like to go walking, too. I think it is the fresh air that clears your mind.
.-= Melinda @ Simple Home Organization´s last blog ..Cool Find Friday 5 =-.
Hey John!
I love this topic. I do everything in my daily life to try to have the less amount of stress possible. Being a mother to 3 boys I need to keep my emotional energy high to be able to deal with the stresses that they bring like: disobeying, fighting with each other over stupid things, whining, being lazy, etc. Actually while I write this comment they are bickering over something in the other room.
I love the fact that you are keeping your expectations of others low. Being disappointed can really get us down and diminish our productivity. Congratulations on staying away from alcohol!
Blessings,
Eren
.-= Eren Mckay´s last blog ..Monkey Theme Baby Shower =-.